Old Time Hallowe'en

So, I was reading about way back in the old days Hallowe'en. And, like, in the 19th century, young girls in Virginia and some other old-time states would play "divination games", and sometimes they would try to see if they could figure out who they would marry. One of the games was that a girl would look into a mirror in the dark on Hallowe'en, and then she would see the face of her husband. And I just had a chuckle because I thought, what if she saw that guy's face in the mirror, and he was like, "Hey, baby, you must be tired cause you've been running through my dreams all night!" Hahaha, you know?

Man, times were tough back then.

Wait, lady! That's not your husband, it's a witch behind you! She's so mad! Happy Hallowe'en!
Hahaha oh man. I love the old days.

Jack-O-Lantern Contest 2011!

Hello again!

The leaves are falling, the leaves are changing colors, the leaves are landing on your car, and on your driveway. You have to rake the leaves. That means it must be Hallowe'en! Or close to it, anyway. So it's also time for our annual Jack-O-Lantern contest (2011 edition)! Please send us videos of you eating your best Jack-O-Lantern. Only one submission per person, please! All videos must be received by October 3oth!

All submissions be sent to dotheshimmy@gmail.com

And just to be clear, there are no prizes. Everyone is a winner.

Happy Spooky Month!

Love,

The Shimmy

P.S. Please, this year do not send us your hospital bills along with your videos.

Why I hate pigs.

There are so many reasons that I hate pigs.

First of all, they're lazy. They lie there like idiots all the time. In the sun. Don't they know it's hot? Plus they have all of that mud and stuff on them, which makes them even hotter. "Get that mud off you, you sickos!" I yell at them, but they don't understand because they're so stupid. They make an awful noise, too. All the time. Why would they do that? Hey, stop making that annoying sound all the time and get a job, weirdos. Also, they are so disgusting. Pretty much all they do all day is eat slop, poop it out, then eat it again. That's like if you took a bunch of your favorite food, put it in a blender, drank it, pooped it, then ate that. Would you do that? If you love pigs, then probably you would. No offense. And so many people think they're so cute. I saw a stuffed animal pig at the mall and nearly made a puke. I would never eat BBQ pork, even though it's delicious. Do you like pigs? Don't say yes, because I'm so mad. The only way I would ever even look at a pig is if it were wearing a sweater, or if he was Gordy. Because Gordy actually did something with his life. If it weren't for Gordy, I would probably hate all pigs. It's because of watching Gordy everyday as a kid that I love pigs today.

Thank you, Gordy.