For Those Who Forsook Us

Hello, "friends."

You decided that, instead of following us on Twitter, which is just about the easiest thing a person can do, you would instead scorn and forsake us. Now, you'll get what's coming to you.


A bag of Doritos™! We are proud of you for standing up for what you believe in and refusing to cave in to peer pressure. For that reason, we at The Shimmy staff have pooled our resources and purchased dozens of bags of Doritos™ brand tortilla chips. Simply send us a message (dotheshimmy at gmail daught com) and let us know what flavor you prefer* and give us your address. We'll take care of the rest.

Thank you for keeping us humble, and please know that, should you change your mind and follow @do_the_shimmy in the future, we will welcome you back with open arms.**






*We're sorry, but we cannot offer Doritos™ Collisions™ as part of this promotion.

**You will, however, have to return your bag of Doritos™.

Your curiosity fufilled

An army of followers.

Ground-breaking tweets.

A hip, fresh marketing campaign like nothing anyone has ever seen.

Shimmy staff working around the clock.

The Shimmy has gone from virtually unknown to internet sensation overnight. The question on everyone’s mind?

TO

WHAT

END

Two words, faithful droves:

PROJECT SHIMMY/JIMMY

Project Shimmy/Jimmy is The Shimmy’s ambitious mission to do what every comedy writer aspires to do: guest-write for Jimmy Kimmel Live!!

The weeknightly monologue Jimmy Kimmel delivers is comedy at its most immediate, most raw, and most intriguing. You may not be aware of this, but because the jokes are usually inspired by current events, Jimmy’s writers often write the monologue material THE VERY NIGHT JIMMY DELIVERS IT! Talk about instant gratification1

The staff at The Shimmy would like a crack at this prestigious task, and that’s why we’ve worked so hard to promote The Shimmy name. Now that we’re rising stars, we plan to use social networking to gain exposure that Kimmel and crew simply cannot overlook. The best part is, we’re going to let you help.

For the next few weeks, we’ll be tweeting jokes that we think would be perfect for Jimmy’s monologue. They’ll be tagged with #pleasejimmy, a hashtag that is sure to become an instant internet meme. If you think that the joke is up to Jimmy Kimmel Live! caliber, kindly retweet it to your followers. You can also talk about Project Shimmy/Jimmy on Facebook or Friendster!

It’s a big dream, but people like you can make it happen. Thank you in advance for making Project Shimmy/Jimmy a rousing success.

With feigned humility,

The Shimmy Staff

T-shirt slogan ideas.

T-shirt slogans I thought of. These would be good T-shirts.

"If you were this T-shirt, you'd be home by now."
"If there's blood on this T-shirt, ignore it."
"If there's blood on this T-shirt, call a doctor."
"A few of my favorite things: puppies, long walks on the beach, good books, this T-shirt"
"I'm afraid."
"My other T-shirt is this same T-shirt."
"Hey baby, let's touch T-shirts."
"My T-shirt likes you! Hahahahaha"

Anyway, good-bye.