"Trumpet Accident"
Trumpet Accident
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
R.L. Stine would be proud.
So, I was watching this great program on E! last month: a rigorous retrospective on the life and career of famed author R.L. Stine, and was hit with a great idea for a Goosebumps book.
Here goes...
#63: There's Something Strange...About Dad
In this installment, 13-year-old Kevin Jones and his 8-year-old sister Elizabeth "Bitty" Jones find themselves in quite a conundrum. It seems their widower dad might be an evil warlock bent on world domination via magick (ancient magic)!
Oh no!
As the Ancient Harvest Lunar Eclipse (that happens once every thousand years or something) approaches, their dad starts acting very strange! He sends them to a camp the week of the Eclipse. The night of it, they sneak out and back home with the help of Ed, the "cool," child-hearted camp counselor who is also the only one who believes their wild story.
Anyway, when they get to their house, they go inside. However, instead of a magick ritual, they find Mr. Jones wearing the skin of a young librarian, dancing around the house in the dark with the song "Black Magic Woman" by Fleetwood Mac blaring. He's not a warlock! He's a serial killer! Woah! When he sees them, he starts screaming, "I'm a pretty boy and you can't kill a pretty boy!" over and over again. He lunges at them with a giant, bloody butcher's knife. Ed jumps in front of the kids to protect them, and takes a fatal blow to the throat, sending blood everywhere. All over the kids.
What are they going to do?!
They manage to run into their dad's room, where there is another young librarian tied to a chair. I think she's dead. They lock the door and call the police. When the police get there, they find Mr. Jones in the fetal position in the bathtub, humming to himself, the librarian skin draped over the curtain rod like a towel. What follows is a three-month long investigation and excavation of the home, under which they discover the bodies of twenty-four more young librarians from all over the tri-state area, which brings the total count up to twenty-six victims (possibly more, as they did find limbs that didn't go to any of the other victims).
Kevin and "Bitty" become wards of the state, and despite their requests, are split up. Kevin is sent to an orphanage in Houston, and "Bitty" is quickly adopted by a middle class family in Dover, Delaware.
"Bitty" goes on to become a veterinarian and amateur painter.
Kevin goes on to become a black magick warlock.
THE END
Sorry I gave away the twist.
and BTW, the Ancient Harvest Lunar Eclipse was a red herring. It's a literary technique.
Red herring on Wikipedia
I've sent several drafts to Mr. Stine's office, but have yet to hear back.
I'll be sure to keep you all updated!
Here goes...
#63: There's Something Strange...About Dad
In this installment, 13-year-old Kevin Jones and his 8-year-old sister Elizabeth "Bitty" Jones find themselves in quite a conundrum. It seems their widower dad might be an evil warlock bent on world domination via magick (ancient magic)!
Oh no!
As the Ancient Harvest Lunar Eclipse (that happens once every thousand years or something) approaches, their dad starts acting very strange! He sends them to a camp the week of the Eclipse. The night of it, they sneak out and back home with the help of Ed, the "cool," child-hearted camp counselor who is also the only one who believes their wild story.
Anyway, when they get to their house, they go inside. However, instead of a magick ritual, they find Mr. Jones wearing the skin of a young librarian, dancing around the house in the dark with the song "Black Magic Woman" by Fleetwood Mac blaring. He's not a warlock! He's a serial killer! Woah! When he sees them, he starts screaming, "I'm a pretty boy and you can't kill a pretty boy!" over and over again. He lunges at them with a giant, bloody butcher's knife. Ed jumps in front of the kids to protect them, and takes a fatal blow to the throat, sending blood everywhere. All over the kids.
What are they going to do?!
They manage to run into their dad's room, where there is another young librarian tied to a chair. I think she's dead. They lock the door and call the police. When the police get there, they find Mr. Jones in the fetal position in the bathtub, humming to himself, the librarian skin draped over the curtain rod like a towel. What follows is a three-month long investigation and excavation of the home, under which they discover the bodies of twenty-four more young librarians from all over the tri-state area, which brings the total count up to twenty-six victims (possibly more, as they did find limbs that didn't go to any of the other victims).
Kevin and "Bitty" become wards of the state, and despite their requests, are split up. Kevin is sent to an orphanage in Houston, and "Bitty" is quickly adopted by a middle class family in Dover, Delaware.
"Bitty" goes on to become a veterinarian and amateur painter.
Kevin goes on to become a black magick warlock.
THE END
Sorry I gave away the twist.
and BTW, the Ancient Harvest Lunar Eclipse was a red herring. It's a literary technique.
Red herring on Wikipedia
I've sent several drafts to Mr. Stine's office, but have yet to hear back.
I'll be sure to keep you all updated!
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
tmwiwh.
two more website ideas we had...
www.barfbarn.com
a website where you can upload and share your favorite pet pics with other pet lovers.
www.spooningpic.com*
just a redirect to some heavily spyware-laden taiwanese website displaying a large, photoshopped picture of j. edgar hoover spooning with katherine hepburn.
*not work safe
www.barfbarn.com
a website where you can upload and share your favorite pet pics with other pet lovers.
www.spooningpic.com*
just a redirect to some heavily spyware-laden taiwanese website displaying a large, photoshopped picture of j. edgar hoover spooning with katherine hepburn.
*not work safe
Saturday, July 26, 2008
Monday, June 23, 2008
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Some websites.
We're thinking of hopping on the dotcom bandwagon and making thousands, just like everyone else. Here are a few of our ideas:
www.scabpics.com
First of all, the address is a pun. Yup.
But more importantly, this would be a website where scab enthusiasts and fetishists could post pictures of their gnarliest scabs. Categories would include "bloodiest", "most symmetrical", "largest", and "most like a celebrity face". Visitors could vote for their favorites, and post videos of themselves picking their scabs in unique ways. A goldmine.
www.petcomputers.com
The pet business is booming, and we want a big piece of the pie. This website would cater to an untapped market: desktops and laptops designed especially for dogs, birds, and lizards. Our products would feature specially designed keyboards and mice (haha!) that pets could learn to use easily. They could finally access the myspace accounts their owners have made for them, and think of all the cute pics of animals using their own computers! Hehe!
www.inter.net
While not technically a dotcom, this website would still be a money-maker. It has another pun address, for starters, and it would also cater to those of us who do not know how to "surf" the World Wide Web. "Newbies" could simply log on, surf over to the site, and be using the internet in no time.
www.yahoo.com
This website would be all about fun. It would have fun pictures, fun links, fun videos, and superfun other stuff, too. Pretty much anything that makes a visitor say "yahoo!"
Gotta go. My Dinty Moore beef stew is done. All of these website ideas are ours. Don't even think about taking them.
www.scabpics.com
First of all, the address is a pun. Yup.
But more importantly, this would be a website where scab enthusiasts and fetishists could post pictures of their gnarliest scabs. Categories would include "bloodiest", "most symmetrical", "largest", and "most like a celebrity face". Visitors could vote for their favorites, and post videos of themselves picking their scabs in unique ways. A goldmine.
www.petcomputers.com
The pet business is booming, and we want a big piece of the pie. This website would cater to an untapped market: desktops and laptops designed especially for dogs, birds, and lizards. Our products would feature specially designed keyboards and mice (haha!) that pets could learn to use easily. They could finally access the myspace accounts their owners have made for them, and think of all the cute pics of animals using their own computers! Hehe!
www.inter.net
While not technically a dotcom, this website would still be a money-maker. It has another pun address, for starters, and it would also cater to those of us who do not know how to "surf" the World Wide Web. "Newbies" could simply log on, surf over to the site, and be using the internet in no time.
www.yahoo.com
This website would be all about fun. It would have fun pictures, fun links, fun videos, and superfun other stuff, too. Pretty much anything that makes a visitor say "yahoo!"
Gotta go. My Dinty Moore beef stew is done. All of these website ideas are ours. Don't even think about taking them.
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